BMW M3 on Winter Tires Flexes Too Hard Against Audi R8, Gets a Bruised Ego in Drag Race

The civilian-preferred way of testing metal is the quarter-mile reflex assessment method. You get (at least) two cars, line them up, give them the signal, and start counting. Four hundred forty yards later, the whole affair is sealed.

This geometrically linear approach to dealing with complex – and complicated – details of motoring is one pretext for YouTubers to provide endless content involving high-revving crankshafts and sophisticated software.

That's the case with Sam Carlegion, the Canada-based car enthusiast who regularly uploads videos of various four-wheeled fistfights. His latest episode is an all-German, all-wheel-drive type of bout. As you might expect, it involves two of the country's four performance powerhouse names.

Out of the big four from the Land of Nuts and Bolts, one doesn't have a supercar. At least not one that is built and marketed as such. You don't have to scroll deep in ancient hermetic archives to identify BMW as the culprit.

That's not to say bimmers aren't ridiculously overachieving machines – quite the contrary. It's just that they don't bother to shove an M3 into a sleek aerodynamic tracksuit. Like, say, their bitter Lord of the Rings rivals from Audi.

As it happens, the two brands co-star in this too-short video (you'll understand why it is this scarce in content in a few moments) about a quarter-mile drag race.

A BMW M3 Competition with mild tuning picks a fight against an Audi R8 – and, at first glance, "fair play" seems to be the option, not the norm. After all, the V10 in the Audi is the magic war hammer of Lamborghini.

But the BMW is not an ordinary M3 (if such a thing is even a… thing). With a JB4 map 4 on it, the gnarly Bavarian starts to show its grunting barbarian side. 630 hp (639 ps) and 580 lb-ft (788 Nm) of torque is something to think twice before lining up against at the start line.

Unless you are an Audi R8 with 610 hp (619) and 413 lb-ft (561 Nm) under the rear deck lid. Both cars run all four wheels, so this aspect is appropriately balanced. The BMW weighs a little more than the Audi (it has twice as many doors and occupancy capacity): 1,780 kg (3,924 lb) vs. 1,671 kg (3,683 lb).

Also, the performance sedan runs on winter tires (the early April weather in Canada isn't quite willing to embrace uncompromised drag racing). Otherwise, it's a twin-turbo versus unaided induction face-off. Three liters inline six – the stablemate workhorse piston architecture from BMW – against 5.2 liters and ten V-arranged cylinders.

The Audi also has a dual-clutch gearbox, but it didn't serve much purpose in the standing quarter sprint. The M3 gapped the screaming R8 without any consideration for the six-year age difference (BMW from 2023 and Audi from 2017).

Two-tenths of a second separated the contenders at the finish line (11.2 on the tuned sedan and 11.4 on the bone-stock supersportscar). The fast four-door sedan was also quicker and faster: 3.1 seconds in the 0-60 mph/97 kph dash; the two-seater with the four-ring emblem scored 3.4 at the same acceleration test. At the end of the line, the 2023 BMW M3 was doing 129 mph/208 kph while its counterpart blasted across the trap at 125 mph/201 kph.

In a dramatic – and disappointing – twist of fate, the BMW suffered a boost leak before the rolling start race. That issue caused a pipe seal to come off, triggering a drivetrain malfunction and rendering the whole joust utterly irrelevant. The wounded warrior left the scene limping, unable to continue the match.