I know that many people don't identify cars with animals, but sometimes, when life gives you lemon vehicles, you need to do some Discovery HD lemonade with them. At least, that's what I feel about a trio of high-end proposals that were recently unveiled.
I know that the week is not over yet, and there could be some unexpected appearances that I would need to include in this discussion. But come on, when BMW presents a new high-performance model, Bentley reveals a coachbuilt limited series, and Rolls announces a refresh of its most successful vehicle – all during the same week, it just needs to be enough for our average rant, right?
So, as I was looking at the M4 CS, Batur Convertible, and the Cullinan Series II, it struck me – these cars just look like animals if you put your imagination at work. In fact, if you're quirky enough, you could see likenesses between various models and all sorts of funny or ironic things. For example, as I got myself started down this path of self-destruction at the hands of angered fans, every time I see the rear of the Ford Mustang Mach-E, there's also an image of a dentally challenged human senior.
The styling – or lack thereof – does work best with comparisons from the animal kingdom. Let me give you a few other examples before attacking the trio. The BMW iX is a capybara, the Mazda MX-5 Miata is a catfish, just about any compact or mid-size Lexus crossover is an angry chihuahua, the Infiniti QX80 is a beluga, and there could be more that I can't conjure right not. Be sure to give me some additional pointers in the comments section below.
Anyway, back to the trio, the Bentley Batur Convertible – coachbuilt by Mulliner in just 16 examples – prepares to welcome the coming summer dressed in more orange than a cock-of-the-rock. In case you didn't know, these birds of the genus Rupicola are part of the contingid family and are native to South America. They are found in tropical and subtropical rainforests close to rocky areas, which is where they nest, and have only two species – the smaller Guianan cock-of-the-rock and the Andean version.
We are interested in the males for this funny comparison, as they are the ones exhibiting sexual dimorphism – the males look magnificent when dressed in orange (or red) and hints of black. At the same time, the females are mostly brownish and only have touches of brilliant colors. If one of them appeared in a Bentley Batur Convertible like the engineering development car – Batur Convertible Car #0 – which has a Vermillion Gloss over Vermillion Satin paintwork with front splitters, side skirts, and the rear diffuser dressed in high gloss carbon fiber, it would surely cause all females to lose their mind over its ride if you ask me.
Moving on, I wouldn't want to be 'naked and afraid' like on Discovery HD when meeting with the Rolls-Royce Cullinan Black Badge Series II because either it has Stormtrooper looks or it's like an angry polar bear staring at us with hungry eyes as if we are a juicy loaf of Northern meat. To many, the $500k Rolls-Royce Cullinan ultra-luxury super-SUV has to be the most awful and ugly Rolls-Royce ever produced, by far. However, while many folks might think that it's an insult to the brand's heritage and a shrine to vulgarity and profanity, it is also – by far and wide – the company's best-selling model. With it, Rolls-Royce has established record after sales record each year since it was introduced in 2018.
Six years later, Rolls-Royce presents a subtle refresh, named Series II – of course – and it's truly a looker. Albeit some might argue that it's not for the right reasons. The regular Cullinan not only got the new Spirit infotainment system, newly available 23-inch wheels, Whispers – the private member app, or a brand-new Spirit of Ecstasy Clock Cabinet but it was also presented in a new hero color dubbed Emperador Truffle combined with a Bespoke 'Crystal Over' finish. Yep, they named a shade that looks like dirt after a fungus found underground! Isn't that ironic?! Anyway, there is also the Black Badge that gets all the same upgrades plus bespoke exterior coachwork and interior details.
The hero SUV, another irony, is a predominantly white Cullinan Black Badge Series II now featuring "all exterior body detail elements and brightwork, including the Spirit of Ecstasy figurine, in Black." Naturally, since we just passed 'May the Fourth (be with you),' it's not hard to imagine this treatment as worthy of the Star Wars Emperor's Stormtrooper forces. On the other hand, the interior is lime and black to provide a huge contrast. On the other hand, I just saw a frowned polar bear ready to charge me like there's no tomorrow.
Last but certainly not least, BMW presented another high-performance car – the M4 CS. It's a limited series akin to the M3 CS sedan that sits neatly (but not snugly) in between the 523-hp 2025 BMW M4 Coupe Competition xDrive and the M4 CSL. Of course, the pricing is not exactly 'affordable' ($123,500 without the mandatory destination fee), and the 543-hp sports car is not exactly any less ugly than the rest of the family. In fact, because an animal's real-world teeth are filthy and mostly gross, let's picture the funny looks of a cartoon beaver instead to better get an imagined comparison with the double-coffin kidney grille. So, do you agree or disagree with my recent animal-to-car comparisons?
Aurel has aimed high all his life (literally, at 16 he was flying gliders all by himself) so in 2006 he switched careers and got hired as a writer at his favorite magazine. Since then, his work has been published both by print and online outlets, most recently right here, on autoevolution. Full profile
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